‘The loneliest woman in the world, is the woman without a
close woman friend’- Toni Morrison
This blog post was inspired by a very awakening incident
that I had today. Nothing unusual about my day really, just the same old
routine that I was accustomed to, waiting at the bus stop near my college,
getting on the bus, asserting my right to sit anywhere I want, and not just the
reserved seats for women, getting off the bus and walking back home, thinking about
whether to go for an easy-junk way for lunch, or the hard working healthy option, in my case, eggs and cucumber sandwich.
While my habitual thought process was responding to the
hungry growling in my stomach, I heard a lady behind me yell, ‘Watch out! He’s
coming towards you!’
I turned to find a middle aged man, swaying left and right,
yes drunk out of his cerebrum, carrying a stick, wearing faded, torn clothes, approaching
me with some idea that was definitely put out of his brains, when the lady
aggressively walked up to him, and said, ‘I saw what you did! To the other girl
as well! I've been noticing you for quite some time now!’ As a successful
attempt at scaring away the pervert, the woman went on saying, ‘You wait right
here! I’ll call the police!’ Then she turned to me and said, ‘This pervert has
bothered two girls till now and he was now aiming you!’ I turned to look at the
man walk away and said, ‘He’s totally drunk.’ She looked at me with an expression
that made me feel like an idiot and think about what I had just said.
She said, ‘So what?
He’s drunk so he has the right to touch a girl’s ass? Drunk is no excuse.’ She
walked up to another man and asked for help saying, ‘Excuse me, bhaisahab, that
man is touching and harassing girls’, she turned to few others, with the idea
of getting the pervert beaten up.
The first man that she spoke to turned to look at the
pervert sway and mumble away in his own delusional world, then he turned to
the lady and said, ‘Let it go. He’s drunk and he’s anyways leaving’, and the
man walked off.
A few others turned to look at him, but no one did anything
about it. The lady walked back to me and said, ‘There’s no police officer also
here, the police station is far, otherwise I wouldn't have left this guy alone!
And these so called men, it’s not their daughter or sister getting harassed right?
Why the hell would they care of it’s just some random woman on the street
asking for some help? Huh! I mean that pervert right in front of my eyes harassed
two girls and those two also just giggled, and walked off scared, should have straight off slapped him right across his face!’
I just stood there, listening, admiring this woman, who may
not have slapped him or done anything major, hero like, but standing in the
middle of the road, addressing to all those people who chose to ignore what happened,
spoke for a woman. She wasn't the one who got harassed or who’s butt got
pinched by a drunk pervert, but one of her own did, and she was one of those very
few, who didn't hesitate to make and raise her voice about it.
It’s true what Toni Morrison says, ‘The loneliest woman
in the world, is the woman without a close woman friend’. Only this woman
wasn't close to me in an emotional way, but she was close to me in the way that
all women are close to all other women of the world. We’re all Women.
In a world where people may play witness to an incident, but
few come forward to do something about it. In world where gender studies is
still central to women and violence and discrimination against women, it is
only the woman, who can be a woman’s best friend.
Because a woman is born in a society and in a world, where
their position is still not shoulder to shoulder with a man, and hence, where a
man refuses to help or make a difference, it is the woman that needs to step up
and be the light for another woman, because in the end, we’re all the same, a
human first, but unfortunately, divided into man and woman, which has made all
the difference in who gets paid more and who gets raped.
This incident taught me three things. First, streets are not
all safe even if it’s 2 in the afternoon, and you can’t be thinking about
lunch, because there is someone out there, drunk, thinking about harassing you.
So, lesson? Don’t think. But watch, all around.
Second, you are not crazy if you’re helping and you’re not
crazy if you’re raising your voice about something wrong that is happening
around you. I didn't find the woman who made a noise about the drunk pervert
crazy, instead I hold her higher than the Mt. Everest in my mind, and I respect
her for what she did. I didn’t know about the pervert who was planning on
approaching me from the back and pinching my butt, but this woman did, and she didn't
hesitate to warn me about it and not just warn but scare the guy away so he
knows he doesn't have the right to get drunk at 2 in the afternoon and loiter
around touching girls' butts.
Third, is the title of this blog post. In the incident that
happened, few men chose to ignore what was happening, and it was only the woman
that came forward. I am not saying that men do not help, or that men do not
come forward when it comes to a woman in crisis. But what I am trying to
emphasize is no woman should be alone no matter what struggle be. Every woman’s
story is different, and yet the same. To reach a stage and time, where women
don’t have to struggle, women need to stand together and united. Women need to
stand with and for women, for no fight can be fought and won alone.
So if you’re reading this, make sure that you be a woman,
for another woman.
Cheers!
