I don't know how many girls my age, FYI i am 19, have heard this line, but i have heard this line quite a few times especially now that i am in college, and since i am in an all girls college, i am well aware of all the feminist thoughts and women's rights in a patriarchal society, lines like these piss us off like someone getting the wrong order when you've been hungry for 24 hours. I am not allowed to and cannot make a mistake, because 'i am a female in the Indian society' and hence cannot make a mistake.
I cannot have too many male friends because that would term me as a 'slut' or a 'whore' or a third class girl, or as they say in Hindi 'banjari'. To all the parents who have put their daughters in a co-ed schools, please note, that if you don't expect your daughter to get close to or make male friends, well then, you made the first mistake of putting her in a co-ed school.
Someone i know, a girl of course, recently confessed to her parents, that she drinks cocktails with her friends, basically that she consumes alcohol.
Her parents of course shocked out of their wits were just not ready to accept the fact, that their oh-so-perfect-GPA-daughter 'drinks'.
She tried explaining to them that she made a mistake and she wants to stop. She knows how much she has upset and disappointed her parents and the two things that she can't get out of her head are, her dad telling her that she was here (raising his hand above his head) and now she has stooped down there (lowering his hand to way below his knees), and when her parents mentioned that had it been a guy it would've been like okay, but being a girl, that too in the Indian society, she is going to pubs and bars and drinking, like WTF?
Well, that girl feels unfortunate that she was born as a female, in this world. She tells me, that she now understands why there are so many cases of female infanticides in the Indian society, because females are apparently not supposed to and cannot go out and make mistakes, experiment, take risks, just have a life and then come back and have the guts to come clean to their parents. Because females are just not supposed to have the guts to be fearless and be honest. She tells me she now feels as if her life is over, she's gonna be looked down upon by the society, she feels mentally raped by all the horrific pictures that were put into her head. She feels useless that there is nothing worth while that she can do with her life, now that she touched alcohol with her pure, virgin lips. She made a mistake and THAT is a sin.
Girls cannot make a mistake.
No, they are supposed to be daddy's perfect little girl, who would wait for her father to come back from the office and play with her. And as the girl grows she goes on to be the perfect girl who gets the perfect scores and results in her studies. They also want their daughter to go abroad on scholarship for higher education and carry the burden of having to be the perfect Indian cultured girl. Please note that if this girl consumes alcohol in her limits, goes out dancing, gets the perfect score in her studies, probably becomes really close to an American male or a female, but is doing really well, gets a great job and is independent, she is still not cultured, and she has gone down the wrong road and is never gonna be able to get a good, rich, NRI husband for herself, because she isn't the perfect 'bahu' and is an independent, young woman, who enjoys her drink and that once in a while cigarette and is a feminist.
I guess what i'm trying to say here is that a lot of times, we girls are made to feel as if we are not entitled to the right of making a mistake, whereas what people need to understand, especially elders is that, the wisdom that you're sharing with us is something that you've gathered over your 30,40,50, years of your existence on this earth, and we are just teenagers, in the phase of gathering the wisdom, and as they say, actions speaks louder than words, hence your lectures, i.e. the words, are not gonna effect us that much. Hence, someone came up with another quote, learn from your own mistakes, so its time for us to make mistakes and for you mature adults to forgive us and stand by us.
One learns the most from experiences, hit and try, risks, and everyone knows that the young blood always wants to experience and try new things, because let's face it, this is the age.
One is not gonna wanna bunk college or work when they're 50 years old.
One wouldn't wanna try their first drink when they're 60 and on pills for god knows how many ailments.
One wouldn't wanna date the hot guy in class, when they're 40 and married with two kids.
So when do you do all of that stuff?
And why are we so hell bent on having our daughters be perfect and be the ideal role model for all the other girls around?
Why?
Why can't we ask our daughters to be the most independent woman, who isn't answerable to anyone, one who doesn't need a lecture form anyone, because she's been there, done that and has great experience.
Why are we stuck in the race to make our teenagers perfect beings who will be asked for the most in the corporate and professional world?
Why can't we ask them to sit back and relax, let the world race?
Why do the girls have to be girls?
Why can't they just be human beings just like anyone else, with the right to make a mistake without stooping to the lowest level? Without being termed 'sluts' and 'whores'?
Why can't they just be, them, without having to put on and fulfill the criteria of an ideal woman of an Indian society?
Why?
I cannot have too many male friends because that would term me as a 'slut' or a 'whore' or a third class girl, or as they say in Hindi 'banjari'. To all the parents who have put their daughters in a co-ed schools, please note, that if you don't expect your daughter to get close to or make male friends, well then, you made the first mistake of putting her in a co-ed school.
Someone i know, a girl of course, recently confessed to her parents, that she drinks cocktails with her friends, basically that she consumes alcohol.
Her parents of course shocked out of their wits were just not ready to accept the fact, that their oh-so-perfect-GPA-daughter 'drinks'.
She tried explaining to them that she made a mistake and she wants to stop. She knows how much she has upset and disappointed her parents and the two things that she can't get out of her head are, her dad telling her that she was here (raising his hand above his head) and now she has stooped down there (lowering his hand to way below his knees), and when her parents mentioned that had it been a guy it would've been like okay, but being a girl, that too in the Indian society, she is going to pubs and bars and drinking, like WTF?
Well, that girl feels unfortunate that she was born as a female, in this world. She tells me, that she now understands why there are so many cases of female infanticides in the Indian society, because females are apparently not supposed to and cannot go out and make mistakes, experiment, take risks, just have a life and then come back and have the guts to come clean to their parents. Because females are just not supposed to have the guts to be fearless and be honest. She tells me she now feels as if her life is over, she's gonna be looked down upon by the society, she feels mentally raped by all the horrific pictures that were put into her head. She feels useless that there is nothing worth while that she can do with her life, now that she touched alcohol with her pure, virgin lips. She made a mistake and THAT is a sin.
Girls cannot make a mistake.
No, they are supposed to be daddy's perfect little girl, who would wait for her father to come back from the office and play with her. And as the girl grows she goes on to be the perfect girl who gets the perfect scores and results in her studies. They also want their daughter to go abroad on scholarship for higher education and carry the burden of having to be the perfect Indian cultured girl. Please note that if this girl consumes alcohol in her limits, goes out dancing, gets the perfect score in her studies, probably becomes really close to an American male or a female, but is doing really well, gets a great job and is independent, she is still not cultured, and she has gone down the wrong road and is never gonna be able to get a good, rich, NRI husband for herself, because she isn't the perfect 'bahu' and is an independent, young woman, who enjoys her drink and that once in a while cigarette and is a feminist.
I guess what i'm trying to say here is that a lot of times, we girls are made to feel as if we are not entitled to the right of making a mistake, whereas what people need to understand, especially elders is that, the wisdom that you're sharing with us is something that you've gathered over your 30,40,50, years of your existence on this earth, and we are just teenagers, in the phase of gathering the wisdom, and as they say, actions speaks louder than words, hence your lectures, i.e. the words, are not gonna effect us that much. Hence, someone came up with another quote, learn from your own mistakes, so its time for us to make mistakes and for you mature adults to forgive us and stand by us.
One learns the most from experiences, hit and try, risks, and everyone knows that the young blood always wants to experience and try new things, because let's face it, this is the age.
One is not gonna wanna bunk college or work when they're 50 years old.
One wouldn't wanna try their first drink when they're 60 and on pills for god knows how many ailments.
One wouldn't wanna date the hot guy in class, when they're 40 and married with two kids.
So when do you do all of that stuff?
And why are we so hell bent on having our daughters be perfect and be the ideal role model for all the other girls around?
Why?
Why can't we ask our daughters to be the most independent woman, who isn't answerable to anyone, one who doesn't need a lecture form anyone, because she's been there, done that and has great experience.
Why are we stuck in the race to make our teenagers perfect beings who will be asked for the most in the corporate and professional world?
Why can't we ask them to sit back and relax, let the world race?
Why do the girls have to be girls?
Why can't they just be human beings just like anyone else, with the right to make a mistake without stooping to the lowest level? Without being termed 'sluts' and 'whores'?
Why can't they just be, them, without having to put on and fulfill the criteria of an ideal woman of an Indian society?
Why?
