The brain is a clever piece of flesh

Memories, Remembrances, Nostalgia, Recollection, Reminiscence

Words, synonyms

All heading the same way

The past.

Brain, the body part that latches on to things, events, happenings

Good, bad, ugly

But it’s a cunning piece of shit,

To always fondly remember the good past

And miss it, wish it back.

And the ugly, thank the lords gladly that it’s over.

The brain be a twisted piece of flesh.

From the moment I open my eyes to the sun in my room,

To the shutting off of lights and pulling up the blanket.

Brain remembers him everywhere,

In everything.

Hope is another dark place

Could lead to more darkness,

Or to the tunnel leading to the light

But it’s better than knowing for sure

Because you don’t know what you don’t know

I would take the past days of uncertainty

Over the current certainty, the reality any day.

The certainty of the changed existence

Of those around me, for all the days left that we survive.

The brain was convulated, Numb, Uncomprehending

For those 3 days

But there was hope,

Hope for things to be eventually alright

But that’s all that it remained

Hope.

Never grew into certainty

But what became certain the 3rd night

When I heard the words,

“His last 2 hours”

It’s over.

The 20 years and 11 months of my life were over.

What lay ahead was a lifetime of Memories, Nostalgia, Remembrance, Recollection, Reminiscence

Of the good days,

Better days,

Of sanity

Because all I could see ahead

And my heart knew,

Was madness, chaos, unfathomable existence

No way out, just the one door

The one door that is survival

Each day at a time.

But the brain,

If only the brain would let me,

This clever piece of flesh,

Recalls an attached memory of his

Everything and every point it notices,

Leeches on to it and refuses to let go.

So even I can’t let go,

And so I survive as the top flesh commands

Remember and recall all attached memories

All to everything.

Everything. Anything.

Everywhere. He is.

Everything.

You’re not here- under our yellow blanket

Dear Mriganka,

When I needed a GPS to my first day in class,

You were there

When I needed to not feel like a loner and sit with someone

You were there

When I needed to know about the different cliques

You were there

When I needed to understand pre-adulthood

You were there

When I needed to feel pretty

You were there

When I needed someone to call a friend

You were there

When I needed to heal from betrayal

You were there

When those who betrayed needed a dose

You were there

When I craved for my favourite Music album

You were there

When I needed to borrow cash

You were there

When I needed to get out for some fresh air or lunch

You were there

When I needed to lie to my mom for a date                
You were there

When I needed a bed after a fight

You were there

When I wanted to rebel and cry

You were there

When I wanted to get drunk with no regrets

You were there

When I had to be alone in class

You were there

When I wanted to talk about my past

You were there

When I just needed someone to listen, not necessarily understand

You were there

Then when I had to leave and go away from you

You were there

When I was excited and you were going to be alone

You were still there

5 years, it’s been my love

And you’re still there

Not in the close proximity that I would want you in right now.

Because I really miss you.

All the good, bad, ugly, drunk, awesome times we’ve had,

And we’re growing up. Damn we’re growing up.

Birthdays and the years that are going by are deciding our lives for us, our future.

I don’t want to grow up. I still want to be a rebel and come crying to you. I still want to be angry and have you bring me back to reality. I still want to be immature and dependent on you. I still want to be able to have your home on the back of my mind always when things aren’t going right.

I still want to be able to tell the world to go to hell in a hand basket because you’re walking distance away from me.

Seas separate us now. Time zones differ. I know our love doesn’t, our bond doesn’t.

But you’re not here.

I love you, yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever.

I miss you every day every moment that my brain functions.

Home is not home without you. This city loses its special meaning and charm for me without you.

My first friend, person, my best friend, soul sister, girlfriend, whatever the fancy terms maybe,

Mriganka Chawla, I’m at a loss of words to try and explain to you how much you mean to me and how much I miss you. Get here soon please. I miss you I miss you , i miss you

My best regards and lots of love

Yours Truly,
Hina Yadav <3
Missing you in our yellow blanket.

Batting them away like a ball- They are we!

He was born like her

For the initial years

They all found it ‘Oh so adorable!’

Gradually while trying to accept who she is,

The eyebrows frowned

The reality struck

The stigma began

It was no longer ‘Oh so adorable’

But rather, deplorable

Freedom of expression?

Right to life?

This was his expression,

This was her life

But the eyeballs,

The whispers,

The gossips,

They made it tough

But he nevertheless went on through to the her

And now as she walks with pride

Taking all the remarks in her stride

Like a ball and bats them away!

Away from the stadium that is her life and dignity

Preserving her stadium,

She is you

He is me

They are we!

Gods’ Handiwork

She struts around in the society

Pretending as if it’s all so dreamy

Little do these unknown faces know

She feels perplexed about how to be himself

When one fine day she decides to be him

But now the world around him is perplexed

Is it her or is it him?

They distance themselves

Ignorant of the existence

Changing the topics and cringing

Not able to fathom the change

But can’t you see

They breathe the same, eat the same,

They feel and bleed the same

They are changed, yes

But just like you.

They are humans

Humans with who changed

But humans nevertheless.

Humans- Gods’ very own special handiwork.

Enough of ‘friends’ and their ‘likes’

I quit Facebook in January 2012.

It started with the deactivation of my user account due to upcoming final examinations, and those two months were such a relief for my brains and my eyes, and not to forget the internet bill, that I went ahead and deleted it once and for all. It has been more than three years now, and I don’t miss a single bit of it. Sure, I miss out on staying ‘connected’ with like lakhs of people, some of who I might have met at a friends’ friend party (or never), and we just know each other by face. Sure, I miss out on the picture updates of the new vacation that my friends took, or my cousin's fiance, but does that make me unaware of what’s happening in my friends’ lives or my ‘closed ones’? Not at all.

In fact, if anything it has made me more aware of the real world that’s around me, real friends who will actually be there for me at midnight, and not just leave a 100 word comment, so easily typed. The gossip next day in the class about who uploaded a drunk picture with who, and whose ex liked the picture and so on, the never ending gossip, and I just think to myself, what is it doing for me?

Because the world works on the 'What's in it for me' mantra.

The trademark ‘like’ on Facebook, is no longer about which friend likes which picture, which used to be a big deal when Facebook initially started out because it was almost as if someone ‘liked’ your picture meant that person is in love with you. Pfft. It’s become even crazier, half the time people like each other’s’ pictures so that the other person would like theirs, and they both get the ‘numbers’. Simply put, I give you the numbers you make me popular, and you do the same for me. Ha!

So since the crazy trend of Orkut and Facebook has been in the light for quite a long time now, the latest trend in the social media sector is to actually socialise. Gradually more and more Facebook users are either deactivating their Facebook accounts or completely quitting, reasons ranging from too many red notification lights blinking on their phones, with friend requests, game requests, etc, or maybe just wanting to get a taste of what’s it like to not be on Facebook for a while, a life without updates about random people’s lives.

A simple argument that former Facebook users put forth is that it’s simply a waste of time. In an article by Anna James, journalist for entrepreneur.com, if a Facebook user spends one hour on the weekdays on Facebook, and 2 hours on the weekends, i.e. Saturday and Sunday, it amounts to 10 hours a week, that’s 4,160 hours, equating to 73 days continuously, or 24 weeks, or six whole months of one’s life is spent on Facebook, and then the question pops up, doing exactly what?

It’s not like it’s this great information gathering activity that one is engaging in, like perhaps reading a book, or newspaper, and yet most of our information and awareness is based on what someone puts up on Facebook, and like the Magic Bullet Media Theory, we just take it all in without questioning or trying to find out the source, because we have full ‘faith’ in our virtual ‘friends’, who are really just fake people on Facebook, but that’s a philosophical debate for another read.

I remember an incident from my first year of college, a girl got up and confidently walked up to the front of the class, facing the professor said, “Ma’am, I would like to share a very shocking fact that I am sure no one is aware of in the class. I don’t think you all know this but Shakespeare was actually a woman, not a man.”

Now that was some accusation, and the professor who quotes Shakespeare and Wordsworth in casual conversations, because she was from the great era of Queen’s English, laughed and asked her the source of this ‘fact’. And NOT surprisingly, it was ‘Facebook’. She just stood there and said “Ma’am, I read it on Facebook”.

Well that was the end of her confidently walking up to share a shocking fact with the rest of her classmates, because it’s Facebook, it’s only called that, it’s not really a book in case you hadn’t noticed my friend.

Gradually more and more people are deactivating their Facebook accounts due to the bombardment of information which is more than half the time, useless.

Saket Kanth, an employee with Dimagi organisation and an inactive Facebook account holder, says, “Sometimes it becomes an excuse to keep a tab on minor activities in people’s lives that are not relevant or quality information. It does form a great network though- best utilized through its messaging and important status updates, but I find the need to break away once in a while so I deactivate it from time to time.”

As a student, I can easily say that Facebook is a big distraction and a hurdle in our lives, from gathering quality and important information from other sources like, novels, newspapers etc. The source of most of our information is Facebook. Even before reading a news on the website of a news agency, we get our half told truths about the event or incident from Facebook, and that is how we end up roaming around with just half the story, least bothered to confirm the facts.

Good news is, times are changing. The importance to be smart and intelligent and not just an avid Facebook user with 10 lakh friends, is gradually spreading. Aman Kumar, a third year engineering student says, “I haven’t quit Facebook, nor am I an active user, I’m somewhere in between. I must’ve deactivated my account a 100 times. I feel it’s useless at times, and really distracting during exams. Deactivating Facebook makes me do more productive stuff. I open Facebook when I am absolutely bored, like maybe 4-5 times a day, and that leads me to think that I could’ve spent that time in a more productive manner. And I am anyways the sort of person who believes more in real meetings like meeting friends face to face and not on Facebook or WhatsApp so I really don’t miss it when I deactivate my account for a few months.”

It’s safe to say that Facebook is not going anywhere, it’s going to stay and it’s here for a long time, because of its effective connecting and networking functions. However, there is a growing need emerging, among users, for a break from Facebook, it could be temporary or permanent, but yes, users are realising that there’s more to life and to internet, for that matter, than just Facebook. And not to forget how it’s more exciting to meet someone after a long time over a cup of coffee, than having to see them every day with their daily updates, and miss out on the little surprising happiness that you experience when you see someone after ages.

Good news: The surprise might just be coming back!

Col. Saurabh Singh Shekhawat- A man of his ambitions

'’Shaheedon mein khada hona aasan nahi hota, jise ishq haqiqi ho wohi gardan katate hai’

-       Col. SS Shekhawat

Colonel Saurabh Singh Shekhawat, of 21 Batallion of the Parachute Regiment (Special Forces), is one of the most decorated, passionate and highly distinguished serving officers of the Indian Army.

Col. SS Shekhawat, born on 18 October 1970, belongs to Alwar district in Rajasthan. He did his schooling from Jaipur, Bikaner and Jodhpur. He joined the army to follow the footsteps of his ancestors and passed out from the Indian Military Academy in the year 1994, and got commissioned in the 17 Maratha light infantry.

Currently posted in Srinagar, Col. SS Shekhawat, was initially an officer of the 17 Maratha Light Infantry but after a year he volunteered for the Parachute regiment, and so began his extraordinary journey in the Special Forces of the Indian Army. He is a passionate mountaineer and has achieved great heights, literally, in mountaineering as well as special military operations in the Indian Army.

Having ascended the Mount Everest for a record third time in 2005, having previously done so in 2001 and 2003, the list doesn’t end there. He has also climbed Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa, and Mount Blanc, the highest peak in the Alps and Western Europe. In October 2009 he led the joint Indo-Kazakh team to scale the Kazakhstan peak of Marble Wall peak in Kazakhstan. Till date Col. Shekhawat has scaled 14 peaks. He started mountaineering in 1997, and as part of training, went to High Altitude Warfare School, located near Gulmarg in Jammu and Kashmir, which is a training and research establishment of the Indian Army.

“Mountaineering is an extreme sport, and the peculiarity of this is that there are no spectators, no cheering party, no one to look at you or cheer you up, you are alone, on your own in the mountain, and it’s all between you and mountain, and when you’re climbing a summit, you’re not conquering a mountain, you’re conquering yourself”, said Col. Shekhawat in an interview to Times Now.

If Col. Shekhawat’s mountaineering record is overwhelming, then his list of awards is even more awesome. He has received numerous awards for his various acts of gallantry displayed in anti-terrorist operations, mountaineering, and distinguished service, namely, Kirti Chakra, Shaurya Chakra, Sena Medal (Gallantry), Vishisht Seva Medal, Samanya Seva Medal, Op Vijay Star, Special Service Medal, Op Vijay Medal, Op Parakram Medal, Sainya Seva Medal, Videsh Seva Medal, 50th Anniversary of Independence Medal, 20 Years Long Service Medal, 9 Years Long Service Medal, United Nations Medal.

 Talking about joining the Special Forces, he says, “I wanted to see action and live an adventurous life and since the time I’ve joined this battalion, I’ve never looked back, whether it is mountaineering, jumping from the aircraft, fighting, I’ve done all of it.”

 Col. S.S. Shekhawat is a man who doesn’t believe in individual efforts and taking all the credit. He is a man of his men, and believes that all the efforts bear fruits when the entire team performs well. He has never been scared of facing reality and is blunt and clear about it. “We are all volunteers. There’s a fire burning inside, and they want to be different, they have that sense of adventure to do something in their lives and they want to seek action and they want to fight. We have chosen this, and we know that once we are in, there’s going be to be a fight, if we perform, we’ll be alive if we don’t we’ll be dead.”

If one were to meet him in person, a strong jawed and muscled man, he can seem very intimidating especially in his strong, bold voice, but the same voice enjoys the occasional laugh with family and friends.

Recalling some childhood insights and instances of Col. Shekhawat, his cousin, Namrata Singh says, “He had always been a very outgoing person. He used to cycle 8-10 kilometres every day, and was physically so strong even at the age of 13, that this one time when a bull was racing towards him, he along with my brother were running away from it, Saurabh turned and caught the bull by its horns and actually fought it! He had always been very patriotic and passionate about the army, and took up new challenges even in everyday life.”

Col. Shekhwat has always held deep passion for fitness, so it comes as no surprise that his hobbies include horse riding, running, weight training and mountaineering.

In a Times Now short video on Col. Saurabh Singh Shekhwat, his junior colleague, describing him, says, “He will never give up. He’s got a very large heart and we feel very comfortable working under him.”

One of the most successful operations conducted by the Indian army called Operation Summer Storm, was under the supervision of Col. SS Shekhawat. In Manipur a 550 sq km stretch of a natural wonder- the Loktak Lake - is the most unlikely habitat for armed militants, but it is on these phumdis or floating grass where militants have always found a safe haven. It is of common knowledge that militants based in the valley have used this lake as a transit base.

But it took the security forces years before they could actually launch a flush out operation. The first one was launched in 2008 but like most army operations it was not sustained and the militants soon found their way back. But Operation Summer Storm was a success, where the army managed to achieve its target without any collateral damage, and Col. SS Shekhawat was awarded the Kirti Chakra for the successful execution of this operation. Talking about Col. Shekhawat’s role in LokTak, Manipur operation another officer says, “We try to emulate his personality and emulate all the qualities that he has. He has a resistance to fear and he took it once step forward, and that is what makes him so great”

Those who have known Col. Shekhawat, describe him as an ambitious, fearless and a patriotic man, who seeks challenges and actions in all aspects of his life. A participant and member of the team that was part of Operation Summer Strom summarizes Col. Shekhawat’s personality in simple terms as, ‘A man of his ambitions, if he sets his eye upon a goal, he doesn’t blink till he achieves it.’

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saurabh_Singh_Shekhawat

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-Lt-Col-Saurabh-Singh-Shekawat-called-the-most-decorated-officer-in-the-Indian-Army

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB9zJ2V8W90

http://www.indianrajputs.com/famous/Saurabh-Singh-Shekhawat.php

Free bleeding? More like free publicity

The latest news that’s been doing the rounds in the women’s world, feminism, women’s issues etc, is Kiran Gandhi running the London marathon for breast cancer awareness, during her periods, free bleeding, i.e. not using tampons or sanitary napkins during menstruation. The story behind this ‘stunt’, as per blog*, is that, Ms. Gandhi got her periods the night before she was supposed to run the marathon, and while she had been practising and training hard for the past one year for this marathon, she never actually ran/trained during her periods, and hence she was worried and confused about what to do. She didn’t want to run with cotton stuffed up her vagina and be uncomfortable and worried about it while running for 26.2 miles. Gandhi writes, ‘I ran with blood dripping down my legs for sisters who don’t have access to tampons and sisters who, despite cramping and pain, hide it away and pretend like it doesn’t exist.’ It’s no surprise that she calls this ‘FEMINISM’ in her blog. In big capital letters the sub head states, ‘FEMINISM: I RAN THE WHOLE MARATHON WITH MY PERIOD BLOOD RUNNING DOWN MY LEGS.’

Yes, you did, and we all saw it, and I am sorry but this isn’t feminism or women’s empowerment. I understand, from your blog, that you wanted to draw attention to the taboo around periods and the fact that many women don’t have access to sanitary napkins and tampons, in the world. But why resort to such an unhygienic, disgusting manner? 

There are better, dignified and sophisticated ways of raising awareness about an issue, say for example, like the breast cancer care marathon that you ran for? As per your means and logic, should we women go around getting breast cancer, and then after getting a mastectomy, roam around with the removed mass from our chests, like a brain in a jar, claiming to spread awareness about breast cancer? My goodness! Just writing this is making me want to throw up a bit! I personally request all my friends to keep their cigarette packets upside down, because just the sight of the cancer infected lung is enough to make me barf!

And okay, let’s get to the entire ‘period taboo and feminism’ part of it! Are you trying to tell me that you’re the first woman to run while on your periods? Well, I am hoping this isn’t news to you because you were a student of women’s studies, that there are numerous, I repeat, numerous women who have succeeded in physically challenging fields like the defence forces, athletics etc, all over the world without ‘free bleeding’. Walking shoulder to shoulder with men, women all over the world are doing everything that men can do, with their periods and tampons, because that’s what’s healthy and hygienic, I wonder how many men or rather women for that matter would like to stand or be around a free bleeding woman, with blood running down her thighs, staining her boss’ expensive furniture in the office or the couch at a friends’ party?

And now to the part where this ‘stunt’ of yours was to spread awareness about your sisters in many parts of the world not having sanitary products for their periods, well, why don’t you pee and poop in your pants too while just walking around because a lot of people don’t have proper sanitation or even worse, no access to toilets? Or something closer to womanhood, why didn’t you run with your armpit and body hair? I doubt a lot of your ‘sisters’ have access to fancy beauty salons for expensive chocolate waxes, or even a razor. Or why not stay hungry, thirsty and naked because the poorest countries in Africa, especially in the sub-Saharan Africa are dying of hunger, thirst and children and women don’t have clothes to wear. Because lady, menstruation is just something that happens once a month to women, but there are 1 million people, mostly children under the age of 5, who die every year, in Sub-Saharan Africa due to hunger.

I’m sure my arguments sound completely bizarre and stupid to the reader, and that is exactly my point. It’s stupid to walk around with hairy arms, or hungry, or thirsty or poop in your pants while moving around, and similarly it’s completely stupid to run a marathon free bleeding, saying that this is for your sisters who don’t have access to sanitary products. You really want do something for them? How about a marathon on how periods don’t stop a woman from being their best and a donation camp of sanitary products that could be donated to the women who need them. That’s actually doing some work, rather than run in blood. Ew!

And about the taboo, I agree that menstruation and especially women during menstruation are looked at as something that’s dirty and gross, but depicting an even grosser image of menstruation and giving wings to imagination, you really think you’re going to succeed in removing this taboo?

Even in the 21^st century, as an educated woman, you have resorted to a rather cavemen times’ method. We humans progressed and developed so that we could take better care of ourselves, not go back in time, because as per that, women shouldn’t be allowed to step out of the house, let alone run free bleeding.

It’s sad that we are claiming such terrible stunts of fifteen minutes of publicity as feminism. Wasn’t feminism all about moving ahead of our times and be women who do everything and anything, but I see we are moving backwards in time, to the cave times rather, where we would be nothing less than animals. The only difference between animals and humans, is imagination, and it is because of this imagination that we invented tampons and sanitary napkins, so why do we want to run around showing the gross and unhygienic sight of menstrual blood, which is actually rejected fluid from the body? Why do we run around naked trying to make a point? And what point exactly? That you haven’t progressed, that you wish to go back to the Stone Age, with naked people all around?

Any sight of blood makes us want to stop it, whether it’s menstrual blood from the vagina or from the nose due to extreme heat. The first most natural attempt is to stop the blood from its source but while the menstruation doesn’t work that way, we try and control it that is why we have tampons and sanitary napkins, hope you’ve heard of them.

 And you keep making a big deal about running, finishing and also being the runner up, WHILE ON YOUR PERIODS, and to me it almost sounds like you’re trying to attract some sympathy, pity, and awws and ooohs!  But I’m sorry, to me the message seems like, ‘I am a woman, I get periods, it’s a big deal and I still ran and I won, it’s tough for a woman, it’s a big deal, men please notice!’

 I am a feminist, I get periods and still, I am no less than you.

It’s almost like you want the people to know that because we get our periods life is tough for us than it is for others so cut us some slack! I’m sorry but the reason why we use tampons and sanitary napkins, and get on with our lives is because this is not a big deal, and we don’t want to be showing it around, making an announcement of some sort about ‘that time of the month’, and make ourselves less competent and give others a reason to bash us down. It’s not something that stops us from doing things, and I am sure that there must’ve been more than one woman who was running in her periods at that marathon.

So while congratulations on being the runner up of the marathon which was for a greater cause than ‘free bleeding’, I’m sorry you haven’t done any favours to your readers or your ‘sisters’ by showing them your blood stained spandex, rather you’ve just grossed them out, and given the male species a rather disgusting image of menstruation.

Lastly, I want to point out that it’s extremely shocking and upsetting that real feminism has completely lost its meaning and significance and stooped to a level that ‘free bleeding’ is considered feminism, and is being further elevated by the media. How many of us became aware about breast cancer after that marathon? But the wide coverage of the free bleeding marathon runner sure made the headlines, without a single coverage of the woman who actually won the marathon, because for all you know, she might have run on her periods too, but as a more progressive and confident woman.

To you Ms. Gandhi, all I have to say is, if you would’ve run the marathon free bleeding, because you found that easier and more comfortable, I think you would have won me and million others over, but claiming it to be feminism and a move for your ‘sisters’, I’m sorry, you’re going to really have to think over your idea of ‘feminism’, next time you plan on pulling a stunt like that again.

 * Kiran Gandhi's blog http://kirangandhi.com/2015/04/26/sisterhood-blood-and-boobs-at-the-london-marathon-2015/