Enough of ‘friends’ and their ‘likes’

I quit Facebook in January 2012.

It started with the deactivation of my user account due to upcoming final examinations, and those two months were such a relief for my brains and my eyes, and not to forget the internet bill, that I went ahead and deleted it once and for all. It has been more than three years now, and I don’t miss a single bit of it. Sure, I miss out on staying ‘connected’ with like lakhs of people, some of who I might have met at a friends’ friend party (or never), and we just know each other by face. Sure, I miss out on the picture updates of the new vacation that my friends took, or my cousin's fiance, but does that make me unaware of what’s happening in my friends’ lives or my ‘closed ones’? Not at all.

In fact, if anything it has made me more aware of the real world that’s around me, real friends who will actually be there for me at midnight, and not just leave a 100 word comment, so easily typed. The gossip next day in the class about who uploaded a drunk picture with who, and whose ex liked the picture and so on, the never ending gossip, and I just think to myself, what is it doing for me?

Because the world works on the 'What's in it for me' mantra.

The trademark ‘like’ on Facebook, is no longer about which friend likes which picture, which used to be a big deal when Facebook initially started out because it was almost as if someone ‘liked’ your picture meant that person is in love with you. Pfft. It’s become even crazier, half the time people like each other’s’ pictures so that the other person would like theirs, and they both get the ‘numbers’. Simply put, I give you the numbers you make me popular, and you do the same for me. Ha!

So since the crazy trend of Orkut and Facebook has been in the light for quite a long time now, the latest trend in the social media sector is to actually socialise. Gradually more and more Facebook users are either deactivating their Facebook accounts or completely quitting, reasons ranging from too many red notification lights blinking on their phones, with friend requests, game requests, etc, or maybe just wanting to get a taste of what’s it like to not be on Facebook for a while, a life without updates about random people’s lives.

A simple argument that former Facebook users put forth is that it’s simply a waste of time. In an article by Anna James, journalist for entrepreneur.com, if a Facebook user spends one hour on the weekdays on Facebook, and 2 hours on the weekends, i.e. Saturday and Sunday, it amounts to 10 hours a week, that’s 4,160 hours, equating to 73 days continuously, or 24 weeks, or six whole months of one’s life is spent on Facebook, and then the question pops up, doing exactly what?

It’s not like it’s this great information gathering activity that one is engaging in, like perhaps reading a book, or newspaper, and yet most of our information and awareness is based on what someone puts up on Facebook, and like the Magic Bullet Media Theory, we just take it all in without questioning or trying to find out the source, because we have full ‘faith’ in our virtual ‘friends’, who are really just fake people on Facebook, but that’s a philosophical debate for another read.

I remember an incident from my first year of college, a girl got up and confidently walked up to the front of the class, facing the professor said, “Ma’am, I would like to share a very shocking fact that I am sure no one is aware of in the class. I don’t think you all know this but Shakespeare was actually a woman, not a man.”

Now that was some accusation, and the professor who quotes Shakespeare and Wordsworth in casual conversations, because she was from the great era of Queen’s English, laughed and asked her the source of this ‘fact’. And NOT surprisingly, it was ‘Facebook’. She just stood there and said “Ma’am, I read it on Facebook”.

Well that was the end of her confidently walking up to share a shocking fact with the rest of her classmates, because it’s Facebook, it’s only called that, it’s not really a book in case you hadn’t noticed my friend.

Gradually more and more people are deactivating their Facebook accounts due to the bombardment of information which is more than half the time, useless.

Saket Kanth, an employee with Dimagi organisation and an inactive Facebook account holder, says, “Sometimes it becomes an excuse to keep a tab on minor activities in people’s lives that are not relevant or quality information. It does form a great network though- best utilized through its messaging and important status updates, but I find the need to break away once in a while so I deactivate it from time to time.”

As a student, I can easily say that Facebook is a big distraction and a hurdle in our lives, from gathering quality and important information from other sources like, novels, newspapers etc. The source of most of our information is Facebook. Even before reading a news on the website of a news agency, we get our half told truths about the event or incident from Facebook, and that is how we end up roaming around with just half the story, least bothered to confirm the facts.

Good news is, times are changing. The importance to be smart and intelligent and not just an avid Facebook user with 10 lakh friends, is gradually spreading. Aman Kumar, a third year engineering student says, “I haven’t quit Facebook, nor am I an active user, I’m somewhere in between. I must’ve deactivated my account a 100 times. I feel it’s useless at times, and really distracting during exams. Deactivating Facebook makes me do more productive stuff. I open Facebook when I am absolutely bored, like maybe 4-5 times a day, and that leads me to think that I could’ve spent that time in a more productive manner. And I am anyways the sort of person who believes more in real meetings like meeting friends face to face and not on Facebook or WhatsApp so I really don’t miss it when I deactivate my account for a few months.”

It’s safe to say that Facebook is not going anywhere, it’s going to stay and it’s here for a long time, because of its effective connecting and networking functions. However, there is a growing need emerging, among users, for a break from Facebook, it could be temporary or permanent, but yes, users are realising that there’s more to life and to internet, for that matter, than just Facebook. And not to forget how it’s more exciting to meet someone after a long time over a cup of coffee, than having to see them every day with their daily updates, and miss out on the little surprising happiness that you experience when you see someone after ages.

Good news: The surprise might just be coming back!

Col. Saurabh Singh Shekhawat- A man of his ambitions

'’Shaheedon mein khada hona aasan nahi hota, jise ishq haqiqi ho wohi gardan katate hai’

-       Col. SS Shekhawat

Colonel Saurabh Singh Shekhawat, of 21 Batallion of the Parachute Regiment (Special Forces), is one of the most decorated, passionate and highly distinguished serving officers of the Indian Army.

Col. SS Shekhawat, born on 18 October 1970, belongs to Alwar district in Rajasthan. He did his schooling from Jaipur, Bikaner and Jodhpur. He joined the army to follow the footsteps of his ancestors and passed out from the Indian Military Academy in the year 1994, and got commissioned in the 17 Maratha light infantry.

Currently posted in Srinagar, Col. SS Shekhawat, was initially an officer of the 17 Maratha Light Infantry but after a year he volunteered for the Parachute regiment, and so began his extraordinary journey in the Special Forces of the Indian Army. He is a passionate mountaineer and has achieved great heights, literally, in mountaineering as well as special military operations in the Indian Army.

Having ascended the Mount Everest for a record third time in 2005, having previously done so in 2001 and 2003, the list doesn’t end there. He has also climbed Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa, and Mount Blanc, the highest peak in the Alps and Western Europe. In October 2009 he led the joint Indo-Kazakh team to scale the Kazakhstan peak of Marble Wall peak in Kazakhstan. Till date Col. Shekhawat has scaled 14 peaks. He started mountaineering in 1997, and as part of training, went to High Altitude Warfare School, located near Gulmarg in Jammu and Kashmir, which is a training and research establishment of the Indian Army.

“Mountaineering is an extreme sport, and the peculiarity of this is that there are no spectators, no cheering party, no one to look at you or cheer you up, you are alone, on your own in the mountain, and it’s all between you and mountain, and when you’re climbing a summit, you’re not conquering a mountain, you’re conquering yourself”, said Col. Shekhawat in an interview to Times Now.

If Col. Shekhawat’s mountaineering record is overwhelming, then his list of awards is even more awesome. He has received numerous awards for his various acts of gallantry displayed in anti-terrorist operations, mountaineering, and distinguished service, namely, Kirti Chakra, Shaurya Chakra, Sena Medal (Gallantry), Vishisht Seva Medal, Samanya Seva Medal, Op Vijay Star, Special Service Medal, Op Vijay Medal, Op Parakram Medal, Sainya Seva Medal, Videsh Seva Medal, 50th Anniversary of Independence Medal, 20 Years Long Service Medal, 9 Years Long Service Medal, United Nations Medal.

 Talking about joining the Special Forces, he says, “I wanted to see action and live an adventurous life and since the time I’ve joined this battalion, I’ve never looked back, whether it is mountaineering, jumping from the aircraft, fighting, I’ve done all of it.”

 Col. S.S. Shekhawat is a man who doesn’t believe in individual efforts and taking all the credit. He is a man of his men, and believes that all the efforts bear fruits when the entire team performs well. He has never been scared of facing reality and is blunt and clear about it. “We are all volunteers. There’s a fire burning inside, and they want to be different, they have that sense of adventure to do something in their lives and they want to seek action and they want to fight. We have chosen this, and we know that once we are in, there’s going be to be a fight, if we perform, we’ll be alive if we don’t we’ll be dead.”

If one were to meet him in person, a strong jawed and muscled man, he can seem very intimidating especially in his strong, bold voice, but the same voice enjoys the occasional laugh with family and friends.

Recalling some childhood insights and instances of Col. Shekhawat, his cousin, Namrata Singh says, “He had always been a very outgoing person. He used to cycle 8-10 kilometres every day, and was physically so strong even at the age of 13, that this one time when a bull was racing towards him, he along with my brother were running away from it, Saurabh turned and caught the bull by its horns and actually fought it! He had always been very patriotic and passionate about the army, and took up new challenges even in everyday life.”

Col. Shekhwat has always held deep passion for fitness, so it comes as no surprise that his hobbies include horse riding, running, weight training and mountaineering.

In a Times Now short video on Col. Saurabh Singh Shekhwat, his junior colleague, describing him, says, “He will never give up. He’s got a very large heart and we feel very comfortable working under him.”

One of the most successful operations conducted by the Indian army called Operation Summer Storm, was under the supervision of Col. SS Shekhawat. In Manipur a 550 sq km stretch of a natural wonder- the Loktak Lake - is the most unlikely habitat for armed militants, but it is on these phumdis or floating grass where militants have always found a safe haven. It is of common knowledge that militants based in the valley have used this lake as a transit base.

But it took the security forces years before they could actually launch a flush out operation. The first one was launched in 2008 but like most army operations it was not sustained and the militants soon found their way back. But Operation Summer Storm was a success, where the army managed to achieve its target without any collateral damage, and Col. SS Shekhawat was awarded the Kirti Chakra for the successful execution of this operation. Talking about Col. Shekhawat’s role in LokTak, Manipur operation another officer says, “We try to emulate his personality and emulate all the qualities that he has. He has a resistance to fear and he took it once step forward, and that is what makes him so great”

Those who have known Col. Shekhawat, describe him as an ambitious, fearless and a patriotic man, who seeks challenges and actions in all aspects of his life. A participant and member of the team that was part of Operation Summer Strom summarizes Col. Shekhawat’s personality in simple terms as, ‘A man of his ambitions, if he sets his eye upon a goal, he doesn’t blink till he achieves it.’

Sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saurabh_Singh_Shekhawat

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-Lt-Col-Saurabh-Singh-Shekawat-called-the-most-decorated-officer-in-the-Indian-Army

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB9zJ2V8W90

http://www.indianrajputs.com/famous/Saurabh-Singh-Shekhawat.php

Free bleeding? More like free publicity

The latest news that’s been doing the rounds in the women’s world, feminism, women’s issues etc, is Kiran Gandhi running the London marathon for breast cancer awareness, during her periods, free bleeding, i.e. not using tampons or sanitary napkins during menstruation. The story behind this ‘stunt’, as per blog*, is that, Ms. Gandhi got her periods the night before she was supposed to run the marathon, and while she had been practising and training hard for the past one year for this marathon, she never actually ran/trained during her periods, and hence she was worried and confused about what to do. She didn’t want to run with cotton stuffed up her vagina and be uncomfortable and worried about it while running for 26.2 miles. Gandhi writes, ‘I ran with blood dripping down my legs for sisters who don’t have access to tampons and sisters who, despite cramping and pain, hide it away and pretend like it doesn’t exist.’ It’s no surprise that she calls this ‘FEMINISM’ in her blog. In big capital letters the sub head states, ‘FEMINISM: I RAN THE WHOLE MARATHON WITH MY PERIOD BLOOD RUNNING DOWN MY LEGS.’

Yes, you did, and we all saw it, and I am sorry but this isn’t feminism or women’s empowerment. I understand, from your blog, that you wanted to draw attention to the taboo around periods and the fact that many women don’t have access to sanitary napkins and tampons, in the world. But why resort to such an unhygienic, disgusting manner? 

There are better, dignified and sophisticated ways of raising awareness about an issue, say for example, like the breast cancer care marathon that you ran for? As per your means and logic, should we women go around getting breast cancer, and then after getting a mastectomy, roam around with the removed mass from our chests, like a brain in a jar, claiming to spread awareness about breast cancer? My goodness! Just writing this is making me want to throw up a bit! I personally request all my friends to keep their cigarette packets upside down, because just the sight of the cancer infected lung is enough to make me barf!

And okay, let’s get to the entire ‘period taboo and feminism’ part of it! Are you trying to tell me that you’re the first woman to run while on your periods? Well, I am hoping this isn’t news to you because you were a student of women’s studies, that there are numerous, I repeat, numerous women who have succeeded in physically challenging fields like the defence forces, athletics etc, all over the world without ‘free bleeding’. Walking shoulder to shoulder with men, women all over the world are doing everything that men can do, with their periods and tampons, because that’s what’s healthy and hygienic, I wonder how many men or rather women for that matter would like to stand or be around a free bleeding woman, with blood running down her thighs, staining her boss’ expensive furniture in the office or the couch at a friends’ party?

And now to the part where this ‘stunt’ of yours was to spread awareness about your sisters in many parts of the world not having sanitary products for their periods, well, why don’t you pee and poop in your pants too while just walking around because a lot of people don’t have proper sanitation or even worse, no access to toilets? Or something closer to womanhood, why didn’t you run with your armpit and body hair? I doubt a lot of your ‘sisters’ have access to fancy beauty salons for expensive chocolate waxes, or even a razor. Or why not stay hungry, thirsty and naked because the poorest countries in Africa, especially in the sub-Saharan Africa are dying of hunger, thirst and children and women don’t have clothes to wear. Because lady, menstruation is just something that happens once a month to women, but there are 1 million people, mostly children under the age of 5, who die every year, in Sub-Saharan Africa due to hunger.

I’m sure my arguments sound completely bizarre and stupid to the reader, and that is exactly my point. It’s stupid to walk around with hairy arms, or hungry, or thirsty or poop in your pants while moving around, and similarly it’s completely stupid to run a marathon free bleeding, saying that this is for your sisters who don’t have access to sanitary products. You really want do something for them? How about a marathon on how periods don’t stop a woman from being their best and a donation camp of sanitary products that could be donated to the women who need them. That’s actually doing some work, rather than run in blood. Ew!

And about the taboo, I agree that menstruation and especially women during menstruation are looked at as something that’s dirty and gross, but depicting an even grosser image of menstruation and giving wings to imagination, you really think you’re going to succeed in removing this taboo?

Even in the 21^st century, as an educated woman, you have resorted to a rather cavemen times’ method. We humans progressed and developed so that we could take better care of ourselves, not go back in time, because as per that, women shouldn’t be allowed to step out of the house, let alone run free bleeding.

It’s sad that we are claiming such terrible stunts of fifteen minutes of publicity as feminism. Wasn’t feminism all about moving ahead of our times and be women who do everything and anything, but I see we are moving backwards in time, to the cave times rather, where we would be nothing less than animals. The only difference between animals and humans, is imagination, and it is because of this imagination that we invented tampons and sanitary napkins, so why do we want to run around showing the gross and unhygienic sight of menstrual blood, which is actually rejected fluid from the body? Why do we run around naked trying to make a point? And what point exactly? That you haven’t progressed, that you wish to go back to the Stone Age, with naked people all around?

Any sight of blood makes us want to stop it, whether it’s menstrual blood from the vagina or from the nose due to extreme heat. The first most natural attempt is to stop the blood from its source but while the menstruation doesn’t work that way, we try and control it that is why we have tampons and sanitary napkins, hope you’ve heard of them.

 And you keep making a big deal about running, finishing and also being the runner up, WHILE ON YOUR PERIODS, and to me it almost sounds like you’re trying to attract some sympathy, pity, and awws and ooohs!  But I’m sorry, to me the message seems like, ‘I am a woman, I get periods, it’s a big deal and I still ran and I won, it’s tough for a woman, it’s a big deal, men please notice!’

 I am a feminist, I get periods and still, I am no less than you.

It’s almost like you want the people to know that because we get our periods life is tough for us than it is for others so cut us some slack! I’m sorry but the reason why we use tampons and sanitary napkins, and get on with our lives is because this is not a big deal, and we don’t want to be showing it around, making an announcement of some sort about ‘that time of the month’, and make ourselves less competent and give others a reason to bash us down. It’s not something that stops us from doing things, and I am sure that there must’ve been more than one woman who was running in her periods at that marathon.

So while congratulations on being the runner up of the marathon which was for a greater cause than ‘free bleeding’, I’m sorry you haven’t done any favours to your readers or your ‘sisters’ by showing them your blood stained spandex, rather you’ve just grossed them out, and given the male species a rather disgusting image of menstruation.

Lastly, I want to point out that it’s extremely shocking and upsetting that real feminism has completely lost its meaning and significance and stooped to a level that ‘free bleeding’ is considered feminism, and is being further elevated by the media. How many of us became aware about breast cancer after that marathon? But the wide coverage of the free bleeding marathon runner sure made the headlines, without a single coverage of the woman who actually won the marathon, because for all you know, she might have run on her periods too, but as a more progressive and confident woman.

To you Ms. Gandhi, all I have to say is, if you would’ve run the marathon free bleeding, because you found that easier and more comfortable, I think you would have won me and million others over, but claiming it to be feminism and a move for your ‘sisters’, I’m sorry, you’re going to really have to think over your idea of ‘feminism’, next time you plan on pulling a stunt like that again.

 * Kiran Gandhi's blog http://kirangandhi.com/2015/04/26/sisterhood-blood-and-boobs-at-the-london-marathon-2015/

'Mardaani'- A reminder of the inevitable, eternal, male power and domination.

The day i heard about this film, i had major issues with its title, and since then refused to spend my time, energy and money, to go and watch the film, but then while lazying around in bed and flipping through channels, i finally came across it on television, and with nothing else to do really, on a lazy afternoon, i decided to watch it, finally. 

While i love Rani Mukerji's character, and she's done a great job playing it, the film did nothing for me in terms of making me feel powerful, or strong as a woman, which i am sure, was the intention and motive of Pradeep Sarkar. Instead, all it did for me was remind me of the power of the male genitalia, which gives males, god knows, what kind of extraordinary power and makes them strong?

 And worst of all, i feel as a woman and a viewer, (please note: woman first), that to be strong and independent in this society, i have to be like a 'mard', 

I mean are you trying to tell me that i can't be myself, without 'growing a pair of balls' (as the slang goes), be a 'woman', who likes to wear dresses, put on make up, likes pink, and yet, be strong, independent and powerful? What bullshit.

I'll give the film a thumbs up for the issue it has addressed (child trafficking), and the whole police investigation, and how Rani Mukerji goes ahead with her investigation, and fights off the baddies. All that stuff, great, but the person who's story you're trying to tell, just because she's a woman who's in power and a great officer, she's got the 'mardaani' factor? I mean what the hell does that even mean?

You're literally giving the message to all the women out there, that we need to learn about, strength, power, and independence from 'mards', the men? Leech on their personality traits? You're going right back to reinforcing stereotypes and male superiority, what's the point of even showing the whole idea of a female inspector, who's fearless and powerful when, through the title of your film itself, you're trying to put the males above the females, and attributing all qualities of the protagonist, to the entire species of males?

While i was getting over the whole dislike for the title, and appreciating the issue that the film addressed, the last dialogue of Rani Mukerji, brought it all down to one message, for me to take away from the film, and that was, 'you need to find the man in you, to be a strong woman'. WOW. That did it for me.

Like you're telling me now, that i can't just simply be a strong woman in itself, i have to find and leech on the testosterone hormone inside me and only then i can be a 'strong' woman?

Did the male species like, buy the sole rights of 'strong' as a personality trait or what? It's as if strength only belongs to men! Its like a time machine, taking us back to the times of women in veils and men toiling the grass.

With all due respect to the intention of the filmmaker and the entire team of 'Mardaani', i'm sorry, but as a feminist, and i'm sure i speak on behalf of a lot of women out there as well, this film is kind of demoralizing and demotivating. 

For starters, your title completely contradicts what you're trying to show through your film. You're showing a fearless, independent, professionally competent woman, who's doing a great job in a male dominated, patriarchal society, and yet you're putting her in a position and calling her qualities, 'Mardaani', and completely spoiling the whole intent and motive of the script. You're almost saying that because she's so great she's like a man? Why? 

Why does any woman being strong, professionally competent or flirty etc., have to be 'like a man'.

Why can't it just be like, 'Oh, there's a strong person'

Why attach labels?

Last but not the least, the closing dialogue by Rani Mukherji, where she says something like, 'Apne andar ki mardaani ko dhoondo' or something along those lines, i don't know the exact dialogue, is a complete put off for a woman, and a completely unnecessary ego boost for the man.

Every man watching it would find his chest size grow two inches bigger, because they would find themselves on top of the world, and every woman would find herself submissive to the male power, finding herself weaker, because, she is after all, a 'stri' and not a 'mard' and the film is asking you to find your inner 'mard'.

I wish i had heard something more offensive and outrageous, but this is such a slap in the face of women empowerment, and such a pullback to old times, instead of pushing women forward and rising above from stereotypes, you've done a great job of pulling them back and reinforcing them, through a mass media like cinema, which reaches and influences millions of people, across the globe. And it's scary that this is the kind of message that's reaching millions of people out there. 

As a female viewer, this is what i took from the film: 'To be a strong woman, find the man inside you'

Ha! Like we don't have enough of them already. No thank you. 

I'll be a woman because i was born that way, and i'm more than sure, i'll get my way through just fine. :)

I'll leave you with a link to a short film made by my friends on labels attached to women. Hope you enjoy it!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpuBQ3RdoJ4

The voluntary deaf and dumb generation of the 21st century.

I am sure that almost everyone can relate to this blog post, just don’t let the title throw you off.

I was walking back home from the bus stop, today afternoon, when I saw two trucks standing on the opposite sides of the road, leaving very narrow road space for any vehicle to pass through. I was walking back home with my flatmate, and I just made a comment about the road situation saying, “Look at these idiots, they've parked right opposite each other and now that bus cannot pass.”

But this, very general, casual comment, fell upon deaf ears. Why?

She had her pink earphones on, with music in her ears.

A very common sight these days, among the youth, is earphones in their ears and eyes on their smartphones. Either browsing through their Instagram selfies, stalking on Facebook, or exercising their fingers on WhatsApp, the youth today, if I may say so, is all about looking down. 

Looking down on their phones, cut off, completely from the events or the music in their surroundings.

It’s not about us frantically scrolling on our smartphones, with our fancy apps, talking to 50 people at once, but not building a relationship with even one, ignoring the noise outside and tapping our feet to the music in our ears, it’s about how we've created an illusionary world around us, like a virtual bubble, and for anything outside of that bubble, we are deaf and dumb, voluntarily.  We are choosing to be deaf and dumb, instead of using our gifted senses to make sense and be aware of what’s happening around us.

I don’t blame when new comers join a new college or a new school, and claim that it’s difficult to make new friends. Hell yeah, it’s difficult. Everyone is bloody busy gawking at their smartphones, so dumb as to even say a Hey, or pass a smile. They have the same music playing in their ears over and over again, resulting in them being deaf to almost everything and anything that goes around them.

I mean I get it, I’m bored waiting for the bus, I plug in my iPod and I listen, but while crossing the road or walking alone, don’t be so ignorant to the world, which is not as hunky dory as a Taylor Swift song may express. Look around you, there are vehicles speeding, people crossing, robbers, muggers, rapists, all around us, each time of the day, so for once, just for your own safety, use those senses to look up and around, let them see the world, than just your LCD screens.

I am very much a part of the same generation that is being talked about here. I do have an iPod that I plug in while travelling in the bus or metro, I am an active Instagram and WhatsApp user, and I do own a broken smartphone. But when my smartphone broke and stopped working except for when it’s charging, I moved to an old, simple, Nokia handset, and after a few days of exercising the natural instinct of flipping my phone to check my notifications and then looking at my Nokia handset and realising that oh! This isn't a smartphone, I came to a conclusion, that I don’t really need one. My old Nokia handset performs the necessary functions of calling, receiving calls, text messaging and music just as any other smartphone. Yes it doesn't support WhatsApp, and I miss it, but I didn't die without it either. I am not on Facebook, and not 24*7 active on WhatsApp, so a lot of times, people ask me, how do I stay connected with friends? How do I get updates on classes or how do I stay socially active?

Here’s the answer. I deleted my Facebook account in 2012 January, I was in class 11, I had deactivated it during my exams, and then when I found peace and eternal bliss from the daily gossip in school about, who liked who’s picture, or who commented what? How many times did someone change their status, or who did they put up their latest profile picture with, when I discovered a world beyond all this, I went ahead and deleted my account forever. I moved outside of the virtual world bubble.

It’s been 3 years since I deleted my account, and I don’t have a single complaint. I agree that I’m unable to stay in touch with a lot of people, but I would rather talk and maintain relationships with just 10 people that I know will help me out in a state of need, than hundreds of those who are only there to comment, ‘Awwww’ on your profile picture one day and the next, say, ‘Hina who?’

I have a theory about real friends and relationships that you should care about. During my semester end examinations and a month after that, I switched to my Nokia phone completely and stopped using the smartphone, to avoid the continuous notification distraction. I was inactive on my WhatsApp for almost 40-50 days.

Texting someone and talking to them for hours together is easy when it’s free, but as soon as you have to spend a few bucks to get in touch and talk to a person, it pinches and you avoid it. But in those 40-50 days, I realised that the person who takes the pain of spending those few bucks to message you or call you, to find out where you've been and how you are, since your last seen on WhatsApp was about a month ago, that is the person you should care about, because she/he is the one who will cross oceans if need be, to help you when you need them. And of course there’s always my favourite, Email. It’s free, more private and a lot more exciting. Almost all my friends have my email id and they know that, that is the one space where they can always get in touch with me and I’ll reply back instantly. I check my email once or twice in a day, I have managed to keep in touch with my middle school, high school and college friends just fine. I believe that if there’s someone who really wants to get in touch with you, they’ll find a way, because there’s always a door open, if Facebook is closed.

So why are we choosing to be in an illusionary world, where pretence is the attitude of everything and everyone? We all choose filters before uploading a selfie on Instagram, then what is so great about a person looking so bright? Do we really care if someone has put up, ‘So Bored’ as their Facebook status? I agree that social networking sites are a great way to express your opinions, share your work or stay in touch with friends and have fun. But do we really need to be that dependent on these sites, that we start acting deaf and dumb towards the real world? Everyone raises their voice against injustice by forwarding messages on WhatsApp or sharing it on Facebook, but how many of us actually step out and voice in forms of active protests or gatherings? How many times have we heard in the news that a group of youngsters got together to spread awareness about any issue? It’s all going on in the virtual space, but that’s not how the world works or how we live our lives. No matter how fancy our cars are in our Facebook pictures, we still need to drive on potholes on the road, but you'll just shout out two abuses and move on. No matter how bold enough you are, to carry off that short LBD on your Instagram, we still live in a world where women are objectified. How many times except for captioning your pictures with quotes regarding feminism or anything along those lines, have we actually gathered with our peers and done something to spread awareness or discuss each other’s sexual assault experiences?

By just sharing a picture expressing your anger or condolences towards the recent rape victim, you don’t become an active part of society fighting this evil. You are still looking down while doing that. You really need to look up, really up above to be able to see the same sky, the same sun, the same moon, the same stars that all of us share, even though we are so distinctly different.

I’m not even going to mention about how those days are gone when you would find a person reading in the bus, sitting in the library to pass time between two lectures or  just simply hanging out with friends, because the definition of ‘hanging out’ has changed to friends sitting together, gawking at their smartphones and showing the other person the new girl in town with her new cute boyfriend who changed her relationship status on Facebook. When I look at groups of friends like that, I just feel plain sad. Sad for them, for me, for all of us, that we've come to a point where the battery life of a phone matters more than its functions, where people’s relationship statuses on Facebook matter more than building your own, where forwarding long WhatsApp messages matters more than educating yourself with a novel, where people’s fake smiling selfies matter more than laughing with your own friends. It’s just really sad.

And the worst part, the mass media, which is considered to be the major source of spreading information and awareness is never going to talk about this concern among our generation, because this pretence, virtual bubble works just fine and in favour of them. Why wouldn't they want people using their apps 24*7, talking about it, listening to it all the time? The song by Britney Spears  fits in perfectly for them, they want ‘More’, and we are actually mentally just too dumb to realise how low we’re stooping. It just saddens me and I hope someday, like the bell curve, this attitude towards reality and the virtual world which is at it's peak right now, will descend, and we can go back to being a generation which is smart, intellectual, curious, and a good listener.

I really, really hope.